On the Bright Side

I can always tell when something is bothering me, I wake up at 3 AM and toss and turn with some nagging thought on my mind. After a time, I give up trying to sleep and either lay there thinking about whatever it is that my mind is fixated on, or like this morning, I get up and get my thoughts organized by writing them down.

This morning I was fixated on the little bell that the Salvation Army uses to pesuade people to donate money to their organization. I was somehow upset that this year the bell shrank. It didn't register when I saw my first Salvation Army kettle this year outside our Publix, no it had to wait until 3 AM. The bell this year didn't have the heavy resounding song I remembered. The song of "come and share your joy with those less fortunate". It was rather tiny, and had a sound that reminds me of a rich persons service bell. You know the little annoying tinkle that says, "come service me, I am more important than you". That was the thought that woke me.



So here I am sitting in the den trying to figure out why exactly I can't get into Christmas this year. Usually the day after Thanksgiving is my launching day, the day Christmas comes out of the attic and spills out onto our lawn, and into our house. There is a lot of work to this. Each year we try to add a touch here or there while maintaining the traditional touches that help us share the joy of the season. Because it is a lot of work, starting promptly the day after Thanksgiving helps me justify the amount of effort it takes. You see, I also feel that Christmas should be over right after the New Year's celebration is over, so the sooner I put it up, the more time my efforts will be spread accross. It's a simple mathimatical justification of the time spent installing, divided into the number of days it will be up, yeilding an effort per day quota.


Then there is the Holiday Open House that Betty and I host every year. Getting the house in as show ready state as we can muster in the couple of days just prior to the event. Planning the menu, the last minute decorating touches, worrying about the weather, what music to play, and all the other things we fret over leading up to the time the first guest arrives. And don't forget the clean up.

I have been thinking it would be nice to take a vacation from Christmas for a year, but at the same time I worry that I have so few traditions that if I skip Christmas one year that it won't ever get started again. If I can justify not doing it one year, why not every year?



On the Bright Side


As I wrote this, I listened to Christmas music, and somewhere between the music and my writing I have reconsiled my delema of why I wasn't able to get into the spirit this year. As it turns out, I, like the Salvation Army bell, was singing the wrong song. This year the holidays became about me. About how much work I had to do. Writing this I realized the holidays are not about me, they are about others. They are about sharing your joy in the season with others. The ones you love, the ones you care about, and the ones less fortunate.

Give Kids the World uses this quote to remind people the importance of giving to those less fortunate.

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."
Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

When I scratched my way out of bed this morning, I was sure that I would end up writing that the holidays were about hope, and how each year the season gives everyone enough hope to go another year, until another holiday season's gravitational pull sling shots us through the next year of work and worries. I still think that is the case, that the holidays give us hope that life will turn out the way we would like it to be. However, I think it is more than that. Here is an opportunity to share joy with others. That is, to really open your heart and home to others. To sing the song that our heart writes. The one that says "come and share the joy". To show others, and remind ourselves of our true nature. To help others less fortunate, and to always.......look on the bright side of life.

On the Bright Side

Hi Everyone,

I like being able to help others. It is the one thing that makes me feel I have a purpose in my life. The older I get, the more that this is important to me. I have always tried to push myself, and if I had a motto it would be, never stop learning. I pride myself in being a life long student, and I feel at times that it is how I gain my energy. Like some alien being who survives solely on increasing knowledge. Don't get me wrong, I don't view myself as being smart, only inquisitive.



Recently I was told that I use logic too much, and I spent days thinking about that statement. I think, I understand what the person was trying to tell me. I took it as a message to help me improve, but I sure did struggle with why it wasn't a good thing to be too logical.



Mr. Spock, I am not. I carry too much baggage to be emotionally detached to that point. I do try and take everything in and internalize it to try and understand what is being said and how to use the knowledge to improve how other see me, my reactions, and my perception of myself. At times, while I am absorbing information, I may appear to be disconnected. In reality I am analyzing what is being said and processing the information. Some times to make an immediate response, and at other times, I may be struggling to understand what is being said, as it may directly conflict with the beliefs I have.



But this wasn't what the message was, now that I have had time to take it in. I believe that the message was about being so quick at a logical response, that other feel that I didn't take time to understand the emotional side of their issue.



On the Bright Side



The message, as I understand it now, is about realizing that people communicate through emotions. Their passions need to be expressed. If they feel that the passion isn't being understood, and logic and reason is used to put the fire of their passion out, then I miss a great opportunity to fill a need for them as an individual.



I know being logical is a basic part of who I am. It comes from how I was taught in school, and through life lessons. I learned that good sound logic was how you got your point across, and how you convinced others to see things your way. Logic was how my brain was mapped.



Logic is fine in it's place, but what I lost sight of was, that humans are sensitive beings. This Dale Carnegie's quote will serve as a reminder for me, from here on out.



"When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bustling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity."
Dale Carnegie


I realize, that all of my lasting relationships are based on an emotional connection, not on a logical sequence of action, and reactions. It is listening intently, even when I don't have a logical response that others care about, and that a lot of times, others don't want me to solve their problems, but just listen, and care about them.

This is so basic, and yet so easy to overlook, that I know I will at times forget, and revert to a quick logical response. I will need to leverage my logic to remind me to connect emotionally to others by being an individual that listens, cares, and who tries to.........always look on the bright side of life.